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Restore Your Libido, Naturally

We have the power to change our bodies – and today we’re talking about restoring your libido, naturally!

So, let’s talk libido.  I’m super stoked about this topic – if you’ve listened to the WTF Menopause podcast this month you’ve heard all about sex, relationships, self-love, sexual wellness. This week it’s all about busting 3 myths around sex! 

We’re myth-busting the heck out of sex in menopause!

Seriously peeps, if you’ve struggled with anything in the bedroom the WTF Menopause!?! podcast is THE place to start!  There’s so much information this month alone to keep the fire going you’re not gonna get bored. Not to mention all of the other amazing topics and guests we have on the show.

And today, let’s talk about getting the mojo going and at the same time, you’ll get a sneak peek on how I help my clients with this in my program!

You’re getting all the goods today! I super excited to share this with you – these are our BEST years!

The 3 essential tools to get that libido revving up again.

#1  Nutrition.  

Yup.  Garbage in, garbage out.  Even in the libido department. With all the changes in our bodies, we need better fuel. Of course, we “know” that food is important, but it’s hard to do, especially when our cravings are nutso.

It’s not just what we eat either, it’s what we drink too. Both can affect our ability to get into the mood.

My first libido tip: Keep a food journal and a libido journal (one journal opposite pages).  Follow that for a few weeks and see if you’re seeing any connections between the two. Collect that data!

Secon tip: Maca.  Maca root is a grown in Peru. There are a number of varieties and each variety has different benefits. One of the primary benefits for women (and men) is that it can help with increasing libido. Plus, it can also help with other menopausal symptoms. So, it’s a two-fer!

While food is important for our libido, we’re more complicated than that.

Research has shown that most women really have sex in their brain.  Without the brain-body connection it’s much harder to go there.

#2  Mindset Blueprint.

What’s your current blueprint showing you right now when it comes to sex, getting into the mood, etc? If you’re comparing your old sex life to the current one, you’re living in the past. Essentially using an old program that tells you things like:

  • Getting into the mood is hard.
  • That we’re not as young / sexy / skinny as we used to be
  • That if we just not have to go through peri/menopause everything would be alright.

The problem is that our brains are operating on autopilot and we have to disrupt the system! We have to create the opportunities to change the program! 

In order to disrupt the program we have to define what sex is for us now, not what it used to be. What are new things that are part of our new life that we can create a NEW and EXCITING time in the bedroom?

Here’s where libido gets really juicy!

#3  Mind/body connection

In peri/menopause we’re forced to assess our lives in so many ways.

Here’s a question: Have you given up your power in the bedroom? Boom – right between the eyes.  Society, family, and community taught us to be the passive recipients in the act of lovemaking/sex. 

The narrative is that we don’t really want sex – that it’s sinful – that we need to play hard to get, etc. There’s a lot of judgment going around as we grew up, became adults and are now facing challenges.

If you’re expecting your partner to do the heavy lifting on your body – that can’t work out well. You are the only one who knows you and at the same time you’re still trying to figure you out right now!  It’s on you to figure out what is working and not.

I’m not immune, I literally had this conversation with my husband this week.  Even though I talk about this openly, it doesn’t mean I’m not having some of the same challenges.

Change your story!

But, the best part is – that we get to change the narrative!  We get to explore, find our happy places, and really get to know ourselves in a way many of us never have before. I’ve crafted a libido meditation just for connecting my mind, body, and spirit.  It’s been a HUGE help for us in the bedroom.

Exploration and learning: that’s why I love my program so much. 

In my 1-1 program, we tailor it exactly to the needs you have in peri/menopause.  We work together on what’s most important to you – whether it’s libido, weight, brain fog, hot flashes… did you know there are 34 symptoms!?  We focus on the 3 pillars: nutrition, mindset blueprints, and mind/body/spirit connection.

It’s a unique program that focuses on bringing you together as a whole person, not just one aspect of your life. You will have a personalized experience that is crafted to your unique symptoms.

Transformations happen regularly here!  Here’s just a few of the results from working in my program: 

  • More energy, calm, and focus. No more guilt about not being present or forgetting all the things.
  • An easy and sustained weight loss. Stop the yo-yo, feel amazing, and support your health.
  • Direction in this next stage of life. To craft a life you have dreamt of for so long.

If you like to explore how to Manage Menopause Naturally, I invite you to schedule a call. During the call, we’ll assess your symptoms and create a plan to help you navigate this time of life in a way that fits us best.

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Are Bubble Baths & Pedis Self-Care or Bandaids?

We’re hearing a lot of talk about self-care lately.  And that’s awesome. Especially for women in menopause.  So many of us have created a life that is hectic, constantly on the go, without much time to really be quiet with ourselves.

But, is self-care bubble baths and pedis?

Woman in bath tub with orange slices floating in the milky water.

Nope. Well, not exactly.

Self-care can look like a lot of things, including those bubble baths.  But, at the core of all of these practices is not just to stop our crazy busy schedules.  Deep down it’s about self-love.

And that’s a toughie.  ‘Cause all the bubbles in the world can’t help us love ourselves.  We have to do the work to do that.

Just like Mama Ru says, “If you can’t love yourself, How in the HELL you gonna love anybody else?”

I recently realized that my self love was leaving a lot to be desired. 

It started out with me wanting to be closer to my husband.  I asked him what little things I could do to show him I cared and settled on a couple of small things that meant something to him. As I did these small gestures, I reflected on why I didn’t do them earlier in our relationship.

I realized I didn’t feel safe.  For a very, very long time.

I’m not talking about physical safety.  I’m talking about the ability to feel vulnerable in the presence of someone else.

Which is wild because I believe that Aaron and I are pretty close.  He’s had my back in so many situations that many would have bailed on.  Even still, I didn’t feel safe.

As I began to dig into this feeling, I realized something even bigger:

Woman looking out window

I don’t even feel safe with myself — to feel the feelings, thoughts, and emotions.  Like they aren’t valid enough or that they’re not real.  Or, that I need to feel, think, do…. All the things that are out there because what’s in here?  Not safe.

Shit.

That’s when it occurred to me that I can do all the self-care in the world but I’m not going to actually love myself until I’m safe enough to BE myself.

And that’s what it is right there.  Being myself is risky business. It has been in the past anyway.  From rejection in my childhood to an emotionally and physically abusive relationship as a young adult, I wasn’t safe to be me.  I put up all the walls. And it’s only now that I’ve realized that those walls are the very things that are keeping me from the very thing I want.  

Hear how to incorporate self-love for yourself on WTF Menopause!?!

Menopause podcast

You can hear how I came through this journey on this week’s podcast.  It’s me working at stepping out, being vulnerable, and sharing this important journey.  My hope is that you’ll feel safe enough for you to be perfectly, uniquely you. Take a listen and let me know what you think.

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Sexual Wellness in Menopause

What does sexual wellness mean to you?

This topic is huge.  Every woman experiences some sort of sexual wellness problem during menopause; whether it’s painful intercourse, lack of libido (or the

 opposite – it’s totally a thing, ask me how I know!), or even issues with bladder control or infections.  Ya’ll, we got issues in this department.

But, here’s the thing.  Staying quiet about it ain’t making anyone happy.

I hear you. I get it. It’s embarrassing.  It’s hard to talk to talk about. If you’re like me, you weren’t taught the skills to have these conversations with spouses or even health care providers.

(And don’t even get me started on health care providers who ALSO need to figure out how to have these conversations with us. Oh, I have the receipts).  

Then there’s the fear of rejection.  God, that’s probably worse than all the problems combined, right?

 

There’s a feeling of safety by suffering in silence.

But it’s a false safety.  It’s not going to fix a damn thing.  And will likely make everything worse.  “Powering through” to appease a partner doesn’t make them feel better — they know it, even if they don’t acknowledge it.  Cutting everything off — not a great plan either.  

And I’m not talking about your partner here.  I’m talking about you.

Y-O-U. 

You are the person you need to connect with.

You are the person who you need to love beyond measure.

You are the person who you need to be intimate with.

Because without that, you’ve got nothing left to give to anyone else.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

I know that’s a tough one.  It took me a long time to get real with myself to realize that I need to have that connection to ME before I can connect with my partner.

And if you were raised without a lot of sexual liberation — oof, girl I hear you LOUD and CLEAR.  That shame that we were raised with has multiplied and had little shame babies running all over the place.  Those bastards keep us from speaking up, searching for answers, or having difficult conversations.

But, when you find that connection, love, and intimacy with yourself something really magical happens. We are able to stand in our power. We are able to communicate our needs, desires, and our challenges to our partners and everyone else. And it’s more than just sex.  This impacts everything we do.

Is it easy?  Nope.

Is it worth it?  Totally.

You need this WTF Menopause!?! episode in your life.

Photo of Gaia Morrissette and text stating Episode 14: Sexual Wellness in Menopause

That’s why I’m so excited for today’s podcast!  I’m talking with Gaia Morrissette, a sexual wellness coach who is super knowledgeable about how to help bring our bodies back in menopause and she has a lot of FUN with it!  We laughed a lot in this episode, and I hope you do too!  

I hope you enjoy this episode!  And if you do, please give it a review/rating so other women (and partners) can find the help they’re looking for!

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Find Fulfillment in Menopause

If you took an assessment of your life, where would you land?

Do you feel fulfilled?  Like your life has meaning, purpose, and passion?

Or, are you feeling like you’re just going through the motions, day after day and wondering if that’s all there is left in life?

Thanks Menopause! Not.

Menopause typically falls at a time where there is a LOT of transitions happening.  Many of us are facing the prospect of an empty nest (if you haven’t already). Just that one change alone can create so many emotions and feelings of loss.  Not to mention the hormones, the relationships, the . . . well, everything!

We have to go through and recreate the puzzle that is our life.  Do we find a job, change careers, start a business?  Just WHAT do I talk to my partner about now? Do we even have anything in common now?  

When we look back over our life we find that we’ve made goals and have achieved them! That’s awesome!

A house?  Check.

Great kids? Check.

Partner?  Check.

Career? Check.

But, now what?

And to make this transition even more exciting, we’re going to throw in some mood swings, anxiety, and insomnia!

You just won the menopause lottery!

But, there’s so much you CAN do right now to help you through this anxiety-ridden time of life.  You get to re-imagine your goals and dreams!

Think about it.  Losing the hustle and bustle of the kids, a new career, or a new partner – you have the opportunity to really get real with yourself.  You can take that time to really hear the calling of your heart.

Be still my heart.

It’s there.  I promise. You just have to be still long enough to hear it.

Start by asking yourself a few questions:

  1.  What activities, pursuits, or passions have I put off for “some day”?  (Guess what, “some day” is here!)
  2. When I’m still and quiet, what comes up when I ask: What brings me joy?
  3. What fills my cup?

This is truly an exciting time!  YOU have the power to drive this next season of life – but, only you can do the driving.

Fulfillment is doesn’t fall from the sky.

I remember when I started pondering my life – it was even before I realized I was in perimenopause. Looking back, I’m guessing this was probably my body prepping my mind for the changes to come.  I sat there for what felt like hours trying to “find my passion” or figure out “my purpose.”  It was just so overwhelming. Then, I would confuse myself more by asking anyone who would listen, what THEY thought I would be good at.  Or what my best qualities were. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a good start. But, you know what? No one said – “Oh, you should totally help women in menopause!”

It isn’t easy to find fulfillment in menopause but it’s totally worth it.

I had to be the one to find that passion and purpose.  I had to be the one to do the work and find the pieces so I could put my own puzzle together.  I’m still finding pieces to put in there. And it wasn’t until I started exploring that I came to this place.  

I had help though.  While I had to do the work, I had guides to help me when I felt stuck or frustrated.  You can also get that help to get you further, faster!  

If you’d like guidance on how to find fulfillment in menopause, I invite you to schedule a conversation to talk about how you can find begin to craft your personal menopause journey.  Don’t wait around for the symptoms to subside! My program provides tools for that too. So, you can find relief AND fulfillment! It’s the ultimate two-fer.  

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Keto Pork Medallions

So, my hubby is quite the cook around here. Thankfully, he joined the Keto train a few months after I did so it’s a bit easier to make meals (though we still cook carbs for the teen boys). He’s also quite the experimenter when it comes to, well, pretty much everything. But for today’s purposes, it’s with mealtimes.

He’s a huge fan of cream based sauces and pretty much anything with cheese. That’s why this eating lifestyle works out well for us. We would really be on the struggle bus without our sauces and cheese. While dairy isn’t always the best choice for a Keto Lifestyle, thankfully it’s been fine for us. But, if you’re struggling with weight loss then dairy should be one of the first things you need to look at cutting out – for a time anyway.

Tonight he got creative and came up with this recipe which seems like a lot going on at first glance but it’s actually pretty easy.

See what I mean about sauce and cheese?

He generously sat down and wrote out the recipe for me to share with you!

Keto Pork Medallions


Courtesy of Aaron Joseph.
Serving size: 6-8 (or 2 adults and 3 teen boys)
Oven temp: 350

Ingredients:
Pork:
3 lb pork tenderloin (2 tenderloin strips)
Salt and pepper to taste
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
1 TBSP olive (or avocado oil)

Sauce:
12-14 oz package of baby portabella mushrooms roughly, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup pepperoni, chopped
1 cup chicken stock (or bone broth)
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
1/2 tsp Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
2 TBSP garlic, finely chopped
3 TBSP butter

Preheat the oven to 350. Season pork with the salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder listed in the first section. Put the oil in the bottom of a baking pan. Place the pork loins on the baking pan and bake for 1 hour or until internal temperature is 160. Rest for 30 minutes then slice in 1/2 inch thick slices.

Meanwhile, melt the butter and add onion, mushrooms, and chopped garlic until soft (about 5-10 minutes). Add the rest of the ingredients and cook over low heat until smooth.

Add sliced pork, top with shredded parmesan and serve!

We had it with mashed cauliflower (more cheese, thankyaouverymuch) and it was extremely filling! If we would have had some fresh spinach, I could totally see wilting that in with the sauce too.

I hope you enjoy! We sure did!

Macros (according to Carb Manager — these are guidelines and not exact measurements): 6g total carbs, 1g fiber, (5 net carbs), 34g fat, 57g protein, 566 calories.


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THE Perfect Summer Meal!

If you’re anything like us, we love to grill in the summer. It’s not summer yet, but spring has definitely made itself known here in Michigan (for a little while, there’s still some snow in the forecast! 😭) and that means we have pulled out the grill!

Last Sunday I wanted to find something simple, easy to make, but the meal had to have avocado since I had just bought 5! So, I did a quick and super original Google search for “Keto dinners with avocado.” There were a lot of things that looked interesting (bacon wrapped avocados anyone?) but that wasn’t really hitting the mark. I poked around a bit and found this AMAZING recipe . . . that wasn’t Keto. Ha.

The best grilled chicken you’ll ever eat!

But it didn’t take long and I totally turned it Keto with just a few steps. Boy, am I glad I did! This is truly a “winner, winner chicken dinner”! Seriously, when I say you need this in your life, I’m not kidding. Make it in the middle of a snowstorm, make it in the summer, make it on a boat . . . you get the idea. It’s so dang good. And, you know I totally forgot to take pictures. So, you’ll have to look at the original recipe to see how gorgeous it actually is. When I make it again (and I will!) I’ll update this post with pictures.

This is quite literally the most flavorful grilled chicken I’ve ever had. AND it’s super, super easy to make! Bingo! Don’t be scared about making the “honey“. It took 5 minutes and if you do that right before or the day before, it doesn’t matter. Just zip it up quick and get it in that marinade! I actually made some maple syrup while I was at it. Why not?

So, here’s the best grilled chicken you’re ever gonna eat! We ate it with fresh asparagus cooked in butter, lemon and the Sunny Paris seasoning from Penzeys (linked below).

(Note, there are Amazon affiliate links. I make a small commission to help maintain the blog.)

California Grilled Avocado Chicken – Keto style!
Adapted from The Recipe Critic

Serving size: 5 (the marinade easily marinates more chicken than listed. I would totally marinate more, and cook them up with or without the cheese for future meals).

Make the “honey” (recipe from TJ’s Taste):

1 cup cold filtered water (divided into 1/4 cup and 3/4 cup)
1/8 tsp of xanthan gum
6 TBSP of xylitol, erythritol, or equivalent sweetener (I used this brand)
1/8 tsp of mineral salt
(I omitted the 1 tsp honey flavoring and 5 drops of yellow food coloring from the original recipe.)

Mix the xanthan gum into the 1/4 cup of water (it’ll be a bit clumpy, that’s ok). Mix the 3/4 cup of water, sweetener, and salt in a small saucepan and bring the mixture to a boil. Add the xanthan gum mixture and whisk until thickened. Remove from heat (and add the flavoring and color if desired). Pour into a jar and let cool. Mixture should thicken more after it cools. If you aren’t getting it thick, add more xanthan gum, in very small increments, it doesn’t take much for it to quickly thicken up.

Make the marinade:

3/4 cup of balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup of “honey” from the above recipe
3 cloves of garlic, minced
2 TBSP of olive oil – I used avocado oil – either will be fine
2 tsp of Penzeys Sunny Paris seasoning (not an affiliate link – it’s TOTALLY worth getting). Italian seasoning would be the substitute.
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

5 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (but you could easily add 5 more to this marinade)
5 slices of mozzarella cheese


Avocado topping:

2 avocados, diced
3 roma (or any nice tomatoes), diced
1/4 cup fresh basil
salt and pepper to taste

Make the marinade and submerge the chicken thighs in the marinade for at least 30 minutes.

While the chicken is marinating, make the avocado topping and set aside in the fridge.

Grill the chicken and at the end of the cooking time, add a slice of mozzarella onto the chicken. Remove from the grill and serve with the avocado topping. EAT and RAVE about it!!



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Chocolate Bark – Keto Style

I am an avid sweet tooth. My guess is that I grew up at a time when sugar cereals were “healthy.”. I was raised on sugar – soda, cookies, candy, you name it, I ate it. And that really hasn’t ever gone away. There are days when I just want something sweet! My favorite thing about Keto is that we have that option. Always within moderation and with sweeteners that are less likely to spike our insulin levels.

Switching to Keto sweets can be a bit tricky. There are a number of different types and they all have differing levels of sweetness. A little practice and it comes easier to figure out what works in different types of situations. This particular recipe is pretty straightforward so it should be an easy one for a beginner!

The quest to make an amazing chocolate bark came about when my daughter sent me a photo of a gorgeous chocolate bark from her local sweet shop. She’s her mama’s daughter and loves her sweets so it’s only natural she would make friends with the owner. She’s gluten-free and vegan so the owner is a sweetheart and lets her know when they have something for her. She was so excited she sent me the picture and that’s all she wrote. I spent about 3 weeks looking up recipes and collecting the ingredients.

Getting ready to dry raspberries.

 

Drying raspberries while I gathered the rest of the ingredients for the rest of the bark.

This same daughter is also an amazing cook/creator of food. She and I brainstormed some ideas for recreating the bark. We had a lot of fun coming up with this Keto-friendly and uber healthy treat!

The original bark had dried strawberries, raspberries, and rose petals along with almonds. It was gorgeous!

Since we needed to make sure this was Keto-friendly I had to be careful of having too much dried fruit. Dried fruit concentrates the carbs which is not what we’re going for.

Raspberries are one of the lower carb berries which is a great option here. When these dried they were very tart which is great for the carb count, the less sweet the fewer carbs. Raspberries are also rich in antioxidants.

 

The finished product

Next, we decided to add bee pollen. My daughter loves this stuff.  She thinks it’s the “bees knees”.   I found out that bee pollen is a superfood.  This superfood is considered to be a nearly perfect complete food for human nutrition.  Go figure!  It’s dried and is slightly crunchy.  It tastes a bit like you’d expect, not sweet but there’s a hint of a honey flavor.  It can be added to a variety of foods to boost your nutrition.

Lastly, we decided to keep the rose petals.  They’re also a source of great nutrition.  They have vitamin C and rose petal tea is a great option for boosting your immune system.  Plus it doesn’t hurt that they’re pretty too!

Rose petals, bee pollen, and dried (blitzed) raspberries
Rose petals, bee pollen, and dried (blitzed) raspberries

 

Then there’s the cocoa butter!  It smells amazing and it always takes me back to my childhood.  My mom swore by using it on the skin to minimize stretch marks.  While this may or may not be the case, I remember loving the smell of the stick of cocoa butter and thinking that it should taste like chocolate.  I was really disappointed when it didn’t.  

Making this bark not only taught me a few things about nutrition, it reminded me of a few lovely childhood memories.  

Ultimately, I combined two recipes from All Day I Dream About Food and Low Carb Yum with the added flair from my daughter and I.  And, let me tell you.  It turned out beautifully.

 

Beautiful bark

 

Doesn’t this just look too pretty to eat?  Well, it’s totally worth eating it and you definitely need to dive in!

This is the best bark I’ve ever had,  hands down.  My testers told me to keep the recipe and not change a thing.  I’ve already started concocting different variations of it but I definitely think this one is pretty amazing.

Here’s the recipe (highlighted text links to Amazon affiliate links.  I receive a small portion of the sale to maintain the blog and associated costs.):

Chocolate Bark – Keto Style

3 oz of cocoa butter
2 oz of unsweetened chocolate
1/2 c of Swerve confectioner’s
2/3 c cocoa powder
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 c roasted unsalted almonds, chopped
1/8 sea salt
1/4 c dried raspberries that have been blitzed
2 tsps or so of bee pollen granules
2-3 tsps (it’s basically just eyeballing it) Rose petals
1/4 c roasted unsalted almonds, chopped

 

You may need to roast your own almonds.  It’s hard to find unsalted roasted almonds.

Sift the powdered sweetener and cocoa powder, separately.

Melt the cocoa butter and chocolate in a double broiler until combined.  Mix in the sweetener. Then stir in the cocoa powder and stir until smooth.  Then, take it off of the heat and add the vanilla, almonds, and sea salt.

Pour onto a pan that has parchment paper and spread it out.  

Sprinkle the dried raspberries, bee pollen, second 1/4 c of almonds, and lastly the rose petals.  

Chill until firm.  Break it up.  And enjoy!!

The prettiest bark I’ve ever seen.